life…con’t
While I know this site isn’t even close to being ready for public consumption, I’m still going to write when I feel like writing. Hopefully, people won’t mind playing catch up once I’ve actually put it up. π
I’ve always had a problem with my weight. I was a chubby little baby, and a chubby little girl, and then a more than chubby adolescent. When the interest in boys happened, I remember being at odds with myself and the world around me. I liked boys, but they didn’t seem to like me back. I was always better friends with boys, because I was a bit of a tomboy. I just felt odd in dressy clothes, and preferred to play dinky cars in the dirt with my brother than play with dolls or get dressed up all pretty. Suffice it to say that boys were friends and I was just one of the boys. Not that I minded, I had alot of fun! Once I got a bit older in high school, things changed a bit and I was usually the brunt of fat jokes and the ignorant behaviour of my school mates. In grades 9 & 10, I was an odd geeky punk outcast, spending most of my time with my equally geeky girlfriends, all who were somewhat overweight. Alone we dealt with the ignorance on our own terms, but together we found that we could talk, joke and laugh about ourselves but also we had a support system and we accepted each other as we were. Together we joined Weight Watchers, we exercised, we ate lunch together and over time, we all lost some weight. None of us got any dates, but we all felt that what we had was better than what any date could provide anyway.
I decided that I needed some time doing other things than school and work. I joined a youth group called YACMR (Youth Across Canada with the Mentally Retarded) and I really got alot out of it, including a boyfriend! Kevin turned out to be a great friend. We had alot in common and we very much enjoyed spending time with each other, and so we did for several years, until Kevin realized that he was gay. Surprisingly, I wasnt surprised at all. We did alot of necking, but that was about it. π In any case, I had a great friend who was supportive and fun and we really had some great times together. During this time, I learned how to party. I, of course, was a junior partier in my early teens, but once I turned 16 and got into a bar for the first time, life would change forever. Wow, lifeΓ was fun back then! Well, it’s still fun now, but that’s a whole other story.
As I socialized more, I began to realize that if I was happy with myself, then people seemed to be happy with me too. I loved to laugh and have a good time, and before long I had lots of friends and we had lots of good times. This is essentially a good thing, but being a nice, fun, generous person, I sometimes found myself being taken advantage of. I figured this out for the most part, but overall this is still something I’m working on. π We had several hangouts and I was out many nights of the week and most weekends, even though I was still in high school and working a part time job. I remember being at school all day, working until 10pm and then my friends would pick me up and we’d head to the Continental in Buffalo, NY to party until 4am. Boy, drinking was fun! And so began the party life…